He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
