Your mouth is God's brothel.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
