thus making me awesome and them whores
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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