Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
