dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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