what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
