Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
