I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
