You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
