mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
