I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
