I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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