I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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