Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
