i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
two words...techno handjob
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
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