I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
