i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
