btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
