I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
