he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
