With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
