Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
