When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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