I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
