i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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