Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
