I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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