I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
