i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
