His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
