I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
