ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
