try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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