So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
