Having a random hookup so left but love u
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
