your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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