Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
