Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
