Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
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