Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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