I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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