i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
