no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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