You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Please don't give away my fajitas
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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