Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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