I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I look better un-naked...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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