Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
