i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
