I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Randomize
