Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
i think i just lost a toe
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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