God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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