She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
