Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
