I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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